Another busy day at the Ritz

[ritz-manager.livejournal.com]

DUNCAN! Get your lazy, taut arse over here! And zip yourself, I don't need any extra visual torment. *pauses, waits for it* Better.

Now then. We have new arrivals due any time, and I need you to get room ten ready for them. Seems they have sent along a very specific list of demands requirements and I need you to be sure their room is outfitted just the way they've asked.

Now then. Listen up. DUNCAN, look at me, not at that bit of crumpet leaving the lobby now, you've seen shorter skirts. Show a little self control. Here's the first list, from a Mr. Peregrin Took who is registered for Room Ten.

1. a mirror
2. razor
3. shaving cream
4. towels
5. bubble bath
6. bathtub
7. lots of ale
8. bags of fritos
9. basket of peaches
10. a blank journal
11. a pen
12. a length of elven rope
13. a big fluffy pillow
14. one small firm pillow
15. a tall and sturdy stool chair
16. scented oils
17. Beregond

The second list is from a Mr. Beregond, also checking into room ten.

1. Pippin
2. A rather large Do Not Disturb sign for the door.
3. NO FIRE WHATSOEVER in the room. No candles, no fireplaces, and most importantly, NO PYRES.
4. A basket of ripe pears.
5. A very large bed, something about as far removed from a regulation soldier's cot as possible.

Got that, dolt, er, I mean Duncan? Then get TO it, and stop ogling that man at the elevators! I happen to know he's a monk! How do I know? Never mind. Get to work.